The thing last time he said he wouldn't get drunk and he did. Luckily for us both, neither of us are the 'bar/club going on a regular basis' kind of people. But its not like we would go kissing others anyways but just saying Ahhhh, the Casino has a hold on him. I have seen some of the married women that do. I feel neglected and I don't think I should be treated like this. I agree with you on the money issue. You know the one that is filled with mostly guys, laid back and where everyone knows everyone and if you don't you will by the time you walk out and people cheer when you walk in the door? If they're traveling for a friend or family member's bachelor or bachelorette party, for instance, you might not be invited, so leaving you behind doesn't mean that they're pulling away. FYI, I am 50..Never too old to have a good time, with my husband, without my husband but with friends.. Never lose yourself. :). Well, people who babysit seem to be scarce where we live so yes we go out to bars with friends and not each other. I don't look down upon or judge others for hanging out with those of the opposite sex. But for M. it would be fine. I go out with my girlfriends, usually a dinner and drinks at the local dining place. So, I told him i dont want him to feel he has to ask me whenever he wants to do anything. I guess I'm J. a prude, then, because I believe there are better places to hang out than bars and that if you are married or committed and have children, your time is better spent with them. By the time my husband and I got married, we were so done with bars/clubs/discos (this was the 80's). CinnamonRoll I on the other hand don't know a single woman who is attracted to other women. i dont really know how to feel about this. Don't listen to the people commenting below they are giving you the advice, they "think" is right. If it becomes a constant thing of going ot the bars all the time and it eats into your time with him, which is what my bf wants to do, then you may have something to worry about. With us its always all good because we know with who, where and why the other person is going out. If you talk with your boyfriend about how you feel, maybe he can assuage your fears. While telling him your problem just say I know its long distance which makes it hard for the both of us but I feel like I wanna talk to you more, and it worries me that you're always drinking and im afraid that there might be another girl out there. As far as I know he doesn't hug other women, pick them up or flirt with themif he did I would have a problem with that, because it's not the type of guy I'd want to be married to. But it got old. What does it take to stop running into these types of people? Really.? She went out with the girls one too many times. Like myself. evenworse Do I flirt with guys at bars when I'm out with friends? ENA posted a blog entry in Articles, 21 hours ago, ENA posted a blog entry in Articles, Monday at 07:16 PM, ENA posted a blog entry in Articles, Monday at 07:24 PM, ENA posted a blog entry in Articles, Monday at 07:29 PM, By When youre in a relationship you dont just change the rules. All about the power play. He is free to go where he wants and so am I but we make choices to do and go places that honor our marriage and protect it at all costs. But when it seems to be an all night thing and it's an always and never, those are telling signs that something isn't normal. A "spouse" is an adult. I feel any interactions should be allowed but also feel that if you're in a committed relationship and someone has an issue with a particular person your relationship comes first obviously and while you won't be "controlled" by your spouse you should definitely take their opinion into account and compromise and adjust behavior accordingly. You know he's thinking of you. The "New Age" opinion. I did indeed go and sit next to people I hadn't seen in months including some single men and proceeded to hug and be picked up by every guy I knew (oh how I love this bar, I'm 6 foot- so its rare to get the hug where people pick you up in the air and you get to feel like a girl lol) so anyway I do this every so often (usually once a month when my boyfriend has his Irish meeting, we'll take one car after dropping Emmy off with her dad, and I'll go here while he does his meeting) and usually my boyfriend will meet M. out or I will meet him out at some point in the night and we'll hang out with friends and have fun, but for a good portion I'm happily talking to whoever I want to, not gender biased or relationship status biased. Does He Wish To End It? "And if . My husband works at a bar on the weekends. Once again, if that behavior changes, you may want to reconsider your approval of this behavior. To a bar he goes to frequently and before he met with you, would meet up with a lot of girls, some of which are a lot younger and they still frequent this bar. I do not care at all. That means, he wants to reassure you that a) he didn't go home with some bar floozy and b) he got home safely. No brainer. It is trying to control each other because deep down you don't trust each other to behave in a party environment. And if I'm going for a walk, to the grocery store, the gym, or out with my best friend, I make sure he knows where I'm going, when I'm going, and when I'm on my way home. I don't mind him enjoying his time alone he needs time to be a man, be with his guys, working on his cars,fishing etc. I know what it's like to love someone but know they aren't good for you. My friends and I have often discussed how we don't "get it" that supposedly most women like women. But understand that it is an opportunity for something to happen because you are specifically putting yourself in that situation. I never told her it was on my mind but she knew that my first relationship went sour because if infidelity. That I trust him to hang out means he can trust that if I say she give M. a bad vibe it isn't because she is pretty, or anything, it is J. something is off. Course I'm the wife who has encouraged her husband to go to the strip club with his friends for bachelor parties he knows he can get his appetite anywhere as long as he eats at home :) and I definitely reap the benefits of those rare sojourns into gyrating nekid females :). the next morning he said he was wasted with a bunch of his friendsand hes not the type to cheat on a girl, but who know what can happen when their drunk you know? Do what you feel is right. Naturally, the latter should raise more eyebrows. There's really very little I can do to *make* him act with integrity and honor, besides doing so myself. Started Saturday at 12:43 AM, By I go to a bar every once in a while, for a drink , by myself. I can honestly say that I never knew women were generally attracted to other women. He would probably be pretty darn red too. Yes, if you've provided all the details. If I should meet another man, I see no reason not to remain friends with this man. First of all, guys NEED this time to well, do what guys do. That being said we aren't glued at the hip and I am not his mother, so if he wants to hang out with his buddies or I want to go out with my friends for a girls night, neither of us has a problem with it. That is exactly what's going on with me. It is just very hard, because I am deathly afraid of being cheated on. I tried to make friends with the girls, but it didnt help because when he made a comment about how good she looked in the thong, it showed no regard for me. We purchased the gift cert from the bar so we were seated in that section. And I understood that too because I thought it was okay to be angry, but I still don't get angry with him when I'm mad. Is it okay for a boyfriend or girlfriend to go out to bars or clubs without you twice a week? My husband will not go out to bars or clubs without M., he thinks it is wrong and makes him uncomfortablein his defense he is devilishly handsome and gets hit on like no one I have ever seen, so I get where he is coming from. We've agreed to be monogamous not by default but because it feels right for us. If your boyfriend suggests that your jealousy is irrational, ask him how he might feel if he were in your shoes. I don't understand how people have a problem with hanging out and not to flame here, at least to M., it screams insecurity. Started Monday at 06:41 PM, By with this lady jumping back at my right back getting a keen excellent piggy straight back travel and you may biting my personal ear canal whenever i carry the back again to the latest pub. Norris says he started learning about this revolutionary new method when he noticed most of the supplements he was taking did little or nothing to support his health. Yes. He had work but still a simple text would've done. yes i need a kick in the butt tonight! The "Cool" way to think. The alternative is to . The whole idea that you never go without each other to parties is quite frankly absurd. He should be calling you Happy couples need time apart and to. Granted we shouldn't keep people on a leash and there are a lot of things going on with a LDR but how can you truts someone like that? I want to flirt, touch and pay lots of attention to him. I mean I'd understand if he were a shady person, but he's not. I'm generally surprised by how many people are against interactions with the gender you're attracted to. Started December 23, 2022. I have more guy friennds than girlfriends. I've never been into the bar scenebut my fiancee doesn't get upset if I want some "M." time. Started February 13, By So, on both ends of things, no worries. Anyone that cant handle that isnt ready for a real relationship. Why boyfriend doesn't call? The only time he gets phone calls is when I wake up at 3am and hes not home. It's not about permission but about respect because we don't want the other to feel uncomfortable. Seinfeld (/ s a n f l d / SYNE-feld) is an American television sitcom created by Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld.It aired on NBC from July 5, 1989, to May 14, 1998, over nine seasons and 180 episodes.It stars Seinfeld as a fictionalized version of himself and focuses on his personal life with three of his friends: best friend George Costanza (Jason Alexander), former girlfriend Elaine . I'm a very sporadic patron of this bar. if its a guys night out and its like 10 buddys sure, if hes going by himself, somethings a foot.Going out with your buddys is homosocial behavior, A typical of men. "[I]f you find your partner making excuses to not have sex and instead they pleasure themselves or watch porn, this may be a sign something is up with your relationship," Hershenson says. S. My husband doesn't like it when I go out to bars or clubs without him but if I want to go hang out with the girls every so often I can and I do go. What is good for one family isn't always what's good for another. Ya know, and I think this is important, if someone I hung out with gave Troy a bad vibe I would not question his vibe, I would stop hanging out with that person. It's kind of like the idea that Facebook ruins marriages. Suggest your wife that she can have time for herself too. Not just change the rule without saying something and then she can choose to keep playing or quit. Tech Organizer. My husband likes to have a beer or two so he does go to the local dive bars with the guys after work. We have no problem with this and neither do most of the couples among our friends. I've seen a lot of posts on here recently about whether its ok for a married or committed person to go to lunch/bar with single person of the opposite sex (or same gender depending on preference) and it had M. wondering if you guys/girls ever go to a bar or an establishment where other singles are and talk to new people? were going to be living together before too long, so I am just letting him enjoy his time right now and trying to relax about it as difficult as it is not to worry. Whether he is hooking up with another girl or not, I'd question why he would be drunk often. Trust is arguably . Even though I know he wouldn't just the thought of my boyfriend getting drunk worries me that he will make a bad decision. <3. 10. So..he and I need to discuss all this, and if he's not willing to change, I may have to walk. I am a single Mom so I am almost never without my kids. I know I can trust him. A few times a year I'll go out dancing with my friends (my husband despises dancing) and once in a blue moon I'll meet someone in a bar to chat. And you will never lose the ones that love you. Which causes you to start to question yourself (like M. today LOL) reading too much into it you know? My advice - Hangout with your friends, go places that interest you without him and make sure he knows your having fun without him but don't rub it in his face. Warning signs that your male partner is emotionally controlling you. You are going to be better off for it, and I think that rocks. Anyway what are your thoughts on the above situation? Honestly..what i'm going to start doing is when I know hes going out to drink, you should just play his game..don't text/ call him..let him come to youif he does. 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